Juice?

May 6, 2011 0

soulja_boy_juice-front-large-300x300 Juice?

As an avid fan of all-things new in hip-hop I rarely take exception to anything that goes on with these crazy ass artists. However there are certain things that are considered the holy grail that you flat-out don’t fuck with. (Hit the jump for the rest of this entry)

1. You don’t rap to “Pain” by 2pac unless you’re Ja Rule. (See Pain is Love album #15  for approval & furthermore FUCK UP FAB)

2. You don’t rap to Juicy, Hypnotize or any of BIG’s classics.

3. You don’t remake Juice… if you are Soulja Boy Tell Em.

I would ask some remedial shit like “who approved this? who is backing him financially? and who is gassin em?” But we all know the answers to these questions. He approved it, he financed it, and SOD Money Gang is gassing em. Which seems to have a revolving cast of dicksuckers who constantly come and go in an effort to see who can roll his swishers the tightest and carry his bags the best. But I digress.

Son went so far as to rock the high-right, low-left cut while they are in pre-production. And I even read somewhere that the original Steele is so hard-up for money he contacted Soulja about a role in the movie as some random passerby or janitor I’m sure #whendesperationsetsin.

I’m sure once this visual masterpiece is completed it will be a WorldStar Hip Hop exclusive that you’ll probably have to pay $2.99 to stream or some shit. I can see the ATL premiere now with superstars like Lil Jon, Rasheeda and the niggas from Crime Mobb we don’t remember in attendance.

Every single aspect of this idea is bad and screams “STOP RIGHT NOW!” But if we know anything about niggas the only thing they do better than absolutely nothing is fuck up some shit that’s perfectly fine! Do the world a favor Dre, don’t make the Juice, don’t produce the Juice, and don’t release the Juice. We ain’t thirsty!

– The Win

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